Communication is often identified as one of the the top challenges by couples reaching out to us for support. In this short episode, we share the framework we teach our clients for moving through difficult conversations with more mutual understanding and support and for creating resolution for challenging and repeating conflicts.

The Trauma Triangle often shows up in relationships during times of increased vulnerability, stress and conflict. At the core of this model is recognizing that when an individual has been through trauma (either big “T” or small “t”), they can develop a protective pattern of viewing difficult or stressful interactions through the lens of this triangle. This means under times of stress or conflict, particularly in important relationships, the individual can perceive the other as rescuer who will alleviate the stress or the perpetrator who is the source of it. Healthy attachment and relationships requires challenging this instinct to box the other into a role and actively recognize during conflict and stress that partners are complex as people. The can both love and want to support us while also having patterns, behaviors or choices that are difficult or hurtful to us. Our responsibility is recognizing both layers and committing to rescuing ourselves through self-soothing and healthy boundary setting.